An interesting op-ed from the New York Times explores two of the best things in life ever – sex and chocolate! – and why they've been linked throughout history. It's obviously an irresistable read (sex! chocolate!) until this buzz-kill of a kicker:
Chocolate, as a sexual surrogate, promises today’s woman a sanitized form of pleasure without unintended consequences. Except, like pregnancy, too much chocolate “shows.”
Why can't women be allowed to enjoy the glorious sex-tinged wonder that is chocolate without constantly being reminded that it makes us destined for lives as fat, miserable old maids crying into a pile of Snickers wrappers? Indeed, there's a whole cottage industry of "guilt-free chocolate" advice that's sprung up to feed our insatiable hunger to stop being hungry for (tsk, tsk) chocolate. And pretty much without fail, the advice is utter bullsh*t.
So without further ado here's some of the stupidest "nuggets" (ugh, sorry) of wisdom out there:
Eat a one-ounce piece of chocolate!
A common refrain for going healthy is, of course, moderation. But the dictum to eat a single ounce of chocolate is not only insane, it's cruel. Just for the record, other things that weigh one ounce include a single tiny AA battery. Hey, while we're at it, why don't we eat a crumb of cookie or a single fruit loop. You've gotta be kidding.
Heart-healthy dark chocolate is yummy and all, but it's not the do-all-end-all of chocolate goodness. Cadbury eggs, Hershey's kisses, Snicker bars: What do these all have in common? They're made with milk chocolate. So no, I will not only eat dark chocolate and forgo the delightful cacao-fueled feast that's waiting for me.
Does this look appetizing to you? Does this? No, because fake chocolate is gross. Step aside, imposter. Please.
Listen ladies, it's Valentine's Day. You're fierce and fabulous and deserving of love. Treat yourself by eating multiple ounces of real milk chocolate, and don't apologize to anyone.
Oh, and if you can, follow it up with some hot and steamy post-chocolate sex. (Or take a chocolate bubble bath!)
- Grate or chop 3 ounces dark chocolate into fine pieces.
- Heat 1/3 cup of soya milk in a saucepan until hot but not boiling.
- Add grated chocolate to the hot soya milk. Stir slowly until chocolate melts.
- Let the mixture cool, then mix with unscented bubble bath.
- Use as much as you would put in a normal bath. Mix the bath water around vigorously to create fluffy, luxurious chocolate bubbles.
Image: Quinn Dombrowski/Flickr. Recipe via sheknows.com)
